"Defining moments are times in your life in which you gain special insight into your authentic identity as a leader, or you might call it your purpose, your core values, or your mission. It's when you get a glimpse into the true you."
Why am I not surprised to see networking as 1 of the key ingredients to self development. I am aware that having the courage to walk up to a stranger, strike up a conversation smoothly, with continued engagement is not my A or B+ strength. Yet it has been drilled into me for the past many months that it’s super important.
And I’m hearing the same from John Ullmen in his Executive Leadership course too. What is one to do? Thinking positively, at least I’m self-aware. I wonder if I can find and partner with someone who’s willing to bring me along for networking haha…
Are you also self-aware? When was the last time you took a pause to self-evaluate? John proposed the following questions and guidelines to kickstart the self-awareness journey:
What are your top 3 defining moments?
- When did they happen
- Who was involved
- What did you learn about yourself
- What does it mean for the future you most want to have as a person and a leader
What are your top skills, abilities or characteristics?
- Get feedback from different people.
- Distinguish your A strengths from your B plus strengths and grow your As.
- Know your weaknesses. Build relationships and partner with people who have those qualities as strengths
Which situations trigger your reflexes to respond with fight, flight or freeze?
| Response | Reframe |
| Fight | Direct thoughts towards highest priority positive purpose |
| Flight | Direct feelings towards determination |
| Freeze | Direct actions towards adding value |
"Distinguish your A strengths from your B plus strengths and grow your As. You should also clarify your weaknesses. Invest in your strengths, and relationship-build your weaknesses."
While it took some time to reframe my last setback, I’ll like to think that it has made me more resilient. 当然也让我看清一些人与事。 Hence I can totally attest to what John shared about developing resilience. It may not feel like it, and it’s not going to be easy. But really, don’t take it personally. Nothing’s permanent. Take care of your wellness and don’t spiral downwards. Pick yourself up. Surround yourself with allies and learn something from it.
- It’s not permanent. Just temporary.
- It’s not pervasive. It’s specific.
- It’s not personal. It’s external.
- Mental Wellness
- Emotional Wellness
- Physical Wellness
- Spiritual Wellness (if applicable)
"Develop daily and weekly routines that pay massive long-term dividends on your performance, development, and well-being."
John said, “For you to succeed as a leader, what’s the most important thing for you to learn next?”. Always be learning. There’s always something to learn from every interaction and experience. Especially in this fast-changing world. Challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone. Be curious. Stay curious.
- Seek challenges that stretch you
- Learn from anyone and everyone
- Learn at multiple levels, beyond your current scope
- Learn from other leaders’ success and failures
- Set learning priorities and implement learning paths
"In the face of a future that's guaranteed to be uncertain, one thing that is certain is that better relationships will make that future better."
It’s easy and 2nd nature to gravitate towards “people like us”, and shy away from connecting/networking with “people who’re different or intimidating”. If we even network to begin with. It’s great that John uses the words connection and relationship instead of networking. And highlight the importance of diversity.
Networking is when a group of people come together in the same space and time. And then what? I am no expert on networking. But I presume one should aspire to connect with, and build relationship with someone at these events. Just remember, seek out out diversity to expand your horizons.
Build relationships with diverse people who are your senior, junior and peers:
"The little things matter big. They add up. When your leadership compass is pointed towards serve others, what's the very best way I can serve my people today, this week, this month, this year?"
Source: https://www.linkedin.com/learning/executive-leadership
